Mixed Feelings

Everyone has told me that my study abroad experience will be one of the most exciting times in my life and that I should take advantage of every opportunity. While I wish to do just that, at the same time I am quite fearful that I will not return in one piece. Relating my general experiences in Irish terms, I would say that I have very odd luck. I am the kind of person who will spend six weeks in Barcelona, a city renowned for its pickpockets, and not be robbed at all. However, when I return to DC, I will somehow have my entire wallet stolen right out of my purse without my noticing for hours. I would also consider myself a very fun yet paranoid person. The minute I let go of my worries and truly enjoy myself is the minute I suffer a major setback. You name it, I’m thinking it – another robbery, identity theft, losing a limb, paralysis, etc. Perhaps that would explain some of the bizarre nightmares I have had recently.

Don’t get me wrong, I am without a doubt a very positive and optimistic person who is looking forward to my next adventure, but I cannot help but mentally prepare for these setbacks. I am sure all of my fellow study abroad students are experiencing various forms of anxiety in preparation for their departures to their respective countries. I picture five months away from home, with no one readily available to bail me out when I run into trouble. For me personally, I envision my struggles adjusting to a new living environment – going from living with four friends last semester to now living with six strangers in an off-campus apartment. There will be no “Leo’s” to feed me, so now is the time to discover the magic of a kitchen.

As I mentioned earlier, last summer I studied in Barcelona for six weeks. I was able to return home in one piece then, so I am hoping for similar good luck during my semester in Dublin. The two programs are quite different. My program in Barcelona was a language program, so the entirety of the program was conducted in Spanish. While it was only a six-week program, it was still a very intense six weeks. Between nine credits and numerous excursions, we had only one long weekend to travel within Spain to a destination of our choosing (Madrid). Also, the language barrier made it a bit awkward at first to communicate with the locals. On the other hand, my semester in Dublin will be much different as I will have an entire semester to explore Ireland and the rest of Europe. I will no longer have to worry about learning a new language since English is spoken in Ireland. I feel that my interactions with Irish folk will be more relaxed and less awkward (to all of my Spanish friends, not to worry – I will definitely return to Spain at some point to practice that español again).

Although most of my courses for this semester are business courses, I am particularly interested in the required Irish history and culture course that I will be taking, since I am seven-eighths Irish. Not only did I want to spend a semester abroad, but I also wanted an experience that would allow me to reconnect with my Irish heritage – through the Irish history course, through my interactions with the friendly locals, and by meeting some of my Irish relatives for the first time. In a way, I am eager to rediscover exactly who I am and from where I have come, and for that I cannot contain my excitement.

The reality that I will be leaving in a few hours is starting to hit me now. Since the new year began, I have received E-mails about the upcoming basketball games or a meeting with my mentor, all things that I would certainly be attending if only it were a different semester. While most Hoyas are back on the hilltop, I will be heading somewhere completely different – a place where I will be respected for my fair skin and freckles. My hope is that I will actually relax and enjoy myself without worrying a terrible amount. While I believe reflection is a good thing, this semester I would rather spend a little less time reflecting and a little more time enjoying the experience.

That does not mean that I will not be reflecting at all! Stay tuned for more posts once I get settled in the motherland!