National Sports of Russia: Mushroom Hunting and Squirrel Feeding

What is the national sport of Russia? I have to say, the first thing that pops into my head is ice hockey. Specifically as a result of Miracle, I have this impression of Russian ice hockey being this brutal, competitive, and generally crazy sport. As an American (who is obsessed with the Olympics), I honor that 1980 US Olympic ice hockey team that crushed the Soviets. Even though I was not alive yet, there is something special about that game that makes it stick in my mind. Now, having seen one such Russian hockey game, I can say with complete honesty, that all my stereotypes have been proven true. In a good way, of course. Russian hockey is beyond awesome.

I grew up watching hockey in the US mainly because my sister practically lived at the hockey rink. We would go to the occasional hockey game in San Jose, home of the Sharks, and I enjoyed them. Honestly though, watching sports (except for the Olympics) has not really been my “thing.” However, a few weeks ago, I witnessed firsthand a hockey match between SKA Saint Petersburg and Ak Bars Kazan. Hockey here in Russia is a completely different watching experience. It could even be considered jaw dropping. I went into that game with my 18 dollar tickets and no expectations except to have a good night out with friends. I knew no one on either team. I just knew the rules of the game. Over the next three whirlwind hours, I am still not sure what happened. I have never in my life seen so much unhindered enthusiasm from the spectators. No one left during the game to get food or take a break from the action. For each of SKA’s five goals, the resounding cheers were deafening. For Kazan’s two goals, nary a whisper could be heard from their 15 fans who huddled for protection in a corner. The place was filled.

And the game itself! I do not have the words to describe. It was so fast and beautiful. I am certain that I have never enjoyed watching any sport as much as that night. Sorry that this is not a very clear description. I am still in awe, and I don’t think any description could be adequate, by me or anyone. Simply put, Russian hockey makes American/Canadian hockey look like the little kids who skated at half time. Speaking of those future Russian Olympians, they were already better than I will ever be at skating, and they were only about 7.

That being said, let me address the title of this post. Hockey is popular. No doubt about it. However, I think that a greater part of the population enjoys mushroom hunting. Yes, that is correct. I just wrote that Russians would rather spend the day out in their dachas, gadding about the wilderness, gathering special (hopefully not poisonous) fungi, and then frying/baking/pickling/drying/salting/microwaving/etc them.

Whenever my host mother is not complaining about how I don’t eat enough or how my sister should be married, she is describing her mushroom adventures. Everyone in my host family loves mushrooms (and mayonnaise, but that is for another day perhaps). Whenever they go to the dacha, I swear they must simply spend the whole day out looking for mushrooms, because they certainly come back with a lot. Then, they sort them into different types, with their handy-dandy mushroom encyclopedia. Finally, they fry/bake/pickle/dry/salt/microwave them. My personal favorite is the dried mushroom soup, Sukhoi Gribnoi. At times, I remember the tales from my childhood where people eat poison mushrooms and die. But, I figure that if they are this obsessed with mushrooms, they must know which ones kill you in a matter of seconds. Plus, the soup is quite delicious.

Now, squirrel feeding. This is also not a joke, even though it sounds even more extraordinary than the mushroom obsession. Unlike in the United States where squirrels are plentiful and slightly obnoxious, here in Russia, they are rare and simply adorable. They are little and red, and Russians travel at great lengths to see and, yes, feed them. Perhaps because I live in a big city, people just want to see some kind of wildlife. Then again, in New York City you don’t generally (or maybe you do…) see people gathering in great numbers to fatten the pigeons, squirrels, and little birds.

I personally discovered this national pastime when I visited Peterhof, a palace surrounded by gardens and some pretty spectacular fountains. There, you could buy nuts and feed the birds or squirrels on the premises. It was beyond awesome. My happiness at Peterhoff even eclipsed the happiness experienced by a 6 year old on their birthday at Disneyland. Seriously. Birds would fly and sit on your hand. Squirrels would nibble at bits of acorn. It was glorious.

In my final opinion, Russian hockey, mushroom hunting, and squirrel feeding are significantly superior to the American national pastime: baseball.