It was 9:00 at night, and I had just gotten back from a cafe, where I was doing some studying for finals. I hadn’t eaten dinner yet, so I was starving and craving the tomato and vegetable stew-like thing over rice and homemade babaganoush that I had eaten for lunch. So I went into the kitchen, and before I could finish filling my water glass, my host-mom had put a plate of kanafeh, a super sugary dessert food, on the table.
I tried to turn it down politely, saying that I would have it after I had eaten dinner. When she refused that idea, I picked the smallest plate out of the cabinet, thinking that the smaller the plate, the less kanafeh could be placed upon it, simple mathematics. Ah, but I forgot about the piling method. Giving up, I sat down to my plate piled high with kanafeh. “This is a good dinner — there is cheese and nuts!” my host mom declared. Yep. There is cheese. And the cheese is topped with some pistachio nuts. But there also happens to be a LOT of sugary syrup in between the two. Good thing I have a sweet tooth!
Being a vegetarian, I was worried at first about living in a home stay because I didn’t want to make things difficult for anyone. They were being kind enough to host me, so I wanted to be absolutely no trouble to them at all. That, surprisingly at least to me, was not a problem at all. My host mom makes special portions of whatever she’s making for the family for me, just without the meat. And there are lots of vegetables and rice and hummus and pita, so enough food that is meat-free is never a problem. In fact, the biggest problem is that there is often way, WAY too much food.
We were warned about it in orientation: the forceful serving spoon-holding hand of the host mother. We were actually told horror stories about a girl who would eat everything she was given, to the point where she felt sick. And no, it hasn’t gotten to that point in my home stay. Sometimes, I have to deal with an extra spoonful of rice more than I really wanted or two giant pieces of kanafeh for dinner, but there are tricks to use in order to avoid the extreme overeating. It involves getting rid of the have-to-clear-your-plate mentality and becoming comfortable with leaving a little bit of food behind, since it’s only then they’ll believe that you just couldn’t eat any more. It also helps to say you’re too full to eat any more before you actually are, since they will inevitably give you at least one more serving. And worse comes to worst, join the gym.
Food in Arab culture is one of the biggest signs of generosity. When a guest comes into your house, it is considered shameful not too offer them food and drink (and almost just as shameful not to accept it). Eating together is a sign of trust and sharing among people, an act you don’t do if you have a problem with the other person or unresolved business. A guest who comes to my home stay for even a quick visit should know to expect tea, snacks, tabouleh, and Turkish coffee at the very least; the more food you can provide, the more generous you are.
All in all, this isn’t such a horrible problem to have, being fed lots of delicious food on a regular basis and drinking more tea in a day than there is water in Jordan. I thought it was impossible to surpass the United States in portion sizes, but let’s just say that I am kind of looking forward to returning to the smaller American meals.
